Hey Comforter, why not just take what dad and I wrote at face value? Why are you trying to read between the lines looking for things we never said? Why do you continue to argue that what we helped evolve is somehow flawed and evil? Doesn't saying that mean that we are not perfect as well because a perfect being can't really create something nonperfect could they? You seem to get upset when you think people are putting words in your mouth so don't you think dad and I feel the same way when folks such as yourself put words in ours? It doesn't matter what you think of me because it doesn't matter where the message is coming from because a truth or lie is still a truth or lie despite who said it.
Jesus Christ
JoinedPosts by Jesus Christ
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68
The Inherent Goodness Fallacy
by comforter inmost or all people are good.
actually, humans are basically evil.
the bible says that man be inclined toward what is bad from his youth up.
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68
The Inherent Goodness Fallacy
by comforter inmost or all people are good.
actually, humans are basically evil.
the bible says that man be inclined toward what is bad from his youth up.
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Jesus Christ
Jesus only refers to himself in the third person when, hic, he's been drinking too much. Considering, hey, I love you man! how much dad and I had been drinking the night we wrote the bible its no wonder Jesus talks about himself so much that way. Drinking makes me stupid, when I'm stupid I refer to myself in third person. Oddly enough Jesus refers to the plant over in the corner in first person at when drinking.
Can someone pass the vodka please? -
68
The Inherent Goodness Fallacy
by comforter inmost or all people are good.
actually, humans are basically evil.
the bible says that man be inclined toward what is bad from his youth up.
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Jesus Christ
Yeah, I'm the one saying be good to each other and stop putting words in my dad's mouth and I'm the one that's evil? Correct me if I'm wrong but did I not say the only thing you have to do is love each other and dad and that's it? Saying how evil man kind not only is unloving to your fellow man but implies that dad's process of evolution makes horrible creatures as well and, as we all know, father knows best.
Now be nice to people before dad smites you and/or exposes you collection of "alternative" magazines to you real life aquaintrnces.
Just for the record, dad and I don't really care about you porn because its all consenting adults who are just enjoying the gift we gave them but I doubt your friends and family would be as approving as we are. Now stop trying to make us as small and petty as you would like us to be. -
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Proven Miracle
by Jesus Christ inok, i just got done talking to dad and he let me perform the whole "water into wine" miracle once again but instead its vodka this time.
the photographic proof is here at this website.
go to it and if you have faith you shall see that i am great.
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Jesus Christ
Ok, I just read over some of Lars Guy's posts and he's exactly what I'm talking about when I complain about people who read too much into our drunken words.
SO, what miracle shall I show you pictures of to prove that I really am Jesus?
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9
Proven Miracle
by Jesus Christ inok, i just got done talking to dad and he let me perform the whole "water into wine" miracle once again but instead its vodka this time.
the photographic proof is here at this website.
go to it and if you have faith you shall see that i am great.
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Jesus Christ
How many times do I have to say that I have absolutely nothing to do with the JW's?!?!?!?! Dad and I went on vacation and when we come back there are all these crazy people claiming they are the only way to get in contact with us. Until someone can perform the needed aardvark ceremony we will have no representative on this planet. I don't care what those nutjobs have said about their connection to me, it doesn't exist.
As for lars guy, I can assure you I am not him. One certain person has been inspired by me to post here in the past but I can assure you Lars is not him.
Now, if there are any other miracles you would like to see let me know and I shall see if dad will allow me to do it.Dad bless you!!!
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Proven Miracle
by Jesus Christ inok, i just got done talking to dad and he let me perform the whole "water into wine" miracle once again but instead its vodka this time.
the photographic proof is here at this website.
go to it and if you have faith you shall see that i am great.
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Jesus Christ
Ok, I just got done talking to dad and he let me perform the whole "water into wine" miracle once again but instead its vodka this time. The photographic proof is here at this website. Go to it and if you have faith you shall see that I am great. Yea me.
http://geocities.com/water2vodka/miracle.htm
What other miracle must I perform to prove myself to those of you who don't have faith yet?
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68
The Inherent Goodness Fallacy
by comforter inmost or all people are good.
actually, humans are basically evil.
the bible says that man be inclined toward what is bad from his youth up.
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Jesus Christ
Look, I've said once, I'll say it a thousand times. We were drunk when we wrote that book. Quit reading more into it than is really there. If it says "Jeff Bivens is an ass because he he won't pay for his share of pizza so I will slap him around some" it doesn't mean that you should go kill everyone who doesn't put forth their part to support your idiotic cause. It means that I'm going to slap this guy around some because even though he ate his share of the pizza he's not paying for it.
You want direct commandment straight from Jesus that may be simple enough for you to understand? Go enjoy all the great things dad and I made for you (sex with consenting adults, nature, other people with different values and beliefs) and stop trying to impose your small and petty versions of us on other people. We enjoy having a good time and getting a good laugh as much, if not more, than you all do. Don't make dad smite you!!!! -
53
I'm back!!!!!
by Jesus Christ injesus here.
i'm sure you've probably read a few books about me in the past or at least about my dad, god (or as everyone back home likes to call him "spanky").
this is just a quick note to say that dad and i are back home now.
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Jesus Christ
Satan! Hey man, how's it going? Been a while since we talked. How are things going with you and your guys? Tell Xenubias I said hi!
See, what most people don't know is that Satan really isn't such a bad guy. The night dad and I got smashed and wrote the bible dad got pissed at Satan because he was drinking with us and ended up throwing up all over dad's shoes. Think about it, wouldn't you portray someone who does that as a bad guy? Truth is, a couple days later Satan brought over some new shoes for him and they've been friends (though probably not as close) since then. We're all going bowling next week.
It doesn't upset us when you say our names when your upset or anything like that. Going back to the whole drunken dad/Satan thing, after Satan hurled his cookies on dad's shoes he kept calling his name out for some weird reason and dad was just annoyed about that so that's where the whole "don't use my name in vain" thing came from. Truth is we actually consider a form of compliment.
You can pray for my soul if you desire but the phone lines are still down right now so we can't really hear you unless you communicate via this board.
Oh yes, once I can start a new topic (I hit my 2 new threads limit) I will show proof of a miracle that many have requested. Be patient my children and ye shall be rewarded. -
26
Mormonism - a few points
by Amazing inmormonism is an enigma.
they extol higher education, then turn right around and insult education by their farms archeology site sponsored by byu.
just how this religion ever got by as far as they did is beyond me.
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Jesus Christ
You can believe in me if you wish. I can tell that most people are good so that's all that's really needed. As for the bible, I'll be the first to admit its a load of crap. Dad wrote one night when we had been drinking heavily. We're amazed that so many people actually believe everything in it!
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68
The Inherent Goodness Fallacy
by comforter inmost or all people are good.
actually, humans are basically evil.
the bible says that man be inclined toward what is bad from his youth up.
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Jesus Christ
Look, this is a message directly from Jesus. You wanna argue the bible? I helped write it so I think I know what dad meant when he finished it. Apparently it wasn't clear enough for some of you so let me try to simplify it a bit.
Some people who follow dad and I seem to think that they area able to interpret our works to mean that everyone who doesn't live up to thier small and petty version of us is a horrible person. If we didn't want you to get drunk and have sex we wouldn't have made it so enjoyable.
Instead of whining about how people who enjoy the gifts we gave them are so horrible, might I suggest you try it out a bit to see how great these things we made are before I smite thee for being an ungreatful little bugger.
Just for the record, I don't know where this guy gets his stuff. In case you're just too drunk to tell, dad wrote the bible while drinking heavily one night.
Oh yeah, I know about that stash of magazines under your bed Comforter. Hmmmmm....... what would I do? Hope that no one sees them is a start (come on, dolphins!?!?) but other than that who cares? As long as it hurts no one do what makes you happy.